"Oriental Magic?"
"comes complete with throwing instructions"
"spittin' image of the model 94 Winchester"
"A Perfect Gift"
"Full grass lawn that actually grows"
"...to give you new poise and self-confidence"
"...cannon that shoots harmless bombs included in your order NOW"
"double money back guaratee"
"...they will make even your closets pals gasp in terror..."
"now you can become almost invisible"
"get more fun out of life"

"plays for years without electricity"?